October 30, 2014

I sent a few tweets to Ontario's Health Minister Dr Eric Hoskins that were suicide related and upon leaving City Hall, feeling calmer and not as hungry, I arrived home to find a police cruiser outside my building. They were there for me. They received the call from the ministry regarding my tweets. After I tried unsuccessfully to convince them I was ok, which they weren't buying, I grew increasingly frustrated. After a few minutes I went upstairs to my unit and smashed some plates. Because I was not happy. The original plan was to go home, and bathe. But the Minister and Toronto Police interfered which only added to my stress. That's when they came up and demanded I go with them to the hospital which I attempted to refuse so they restrained me ignoring my screams they were hurting my head which they later said they never touched it. Next thing I knew I was being handcuffed and escorted to the back of the cruiser. I managed to pull the cuffs off first then they tightened them and left marks. They had told me they'd remove the cuffs when I got in the cruiser. That didn't happen. They told me they'd remove them after I was checked in. That didn't happen. They noticed I'd calmed down but waited until I grew increasingly impatient before setting a new time which I took as an intimidation tactic. So I played along. I probably shouldn't have because I took it to a whole new level of discrimination. The cops also said it was my choice if I wanted to leave once I was registered. I was then escorted to the mental health emergency services unit part of the hospital. Where again I was not happy about having to stay. I kept fighting the staff (scratched 1 guard, bit another, kicked a cop and grabbed the other cop's parts) so I was placed in another restraint and this time hospital security joined the staff in holding me down to strap me up. Each time I tried to see what was happening, the hospital security guard who happened to be black, would put his hand over my face adding pressure to the tube going down the side of my neck on the same side as my shunt. I tried telling them about it but they said it wasn't hurting it. Then twice the nurse strapped my stomach area so tight making it hard to breathe which security agreed with. The second time she took longer to fix it because she didn't believe me.
Now. Keeping in mind there were 2 male police officers and 2 male security officers and only one female nurse dealing with me a person struggling with mental health especially PTSD and had long experienced great amounts of distress toward men. In trying to calm me down, the next thing I remember is the guard undoing my pants and when I tried to look to see what was going on, he slammed his hand shoving my face down and put his hand over my face so I couldn't see. From the little I could see, my pants were undone and the men in uniform were over top of me. Imagine how, if you were me, a 31 year old First Nations woman with no family or support, what that moment must've felt like for me.
Yea.
That is why Health Minister Dr Eric Hoskins took most of the spots on my ShitList last week.